Three Tips For Better Disagreement

Thanksgiving week. A time when there’s so much to be gracious for.

America 2021. A time when there’s so much to fight about.

As Christians trying to navigate a world where there’s a new controversy or tragedy every three days, how can we apply the principles of God’s Word to the times we don’t see eye to eye on something?

1. Don’t run away from inconvenient truth.

As humans, we’re prone to a little something called confirmation bias. MindTools defines confirmation bias as what happens “…when you look for information that supports your existing beliefs, and reject data that go against what you believe. ”

When we do encounter information that challenges what we want to believe, we either try to deny it or discredit it. One way we try to discredit it is through straw man arguments. A straw man argument has occured when, to quote YourLogicalFallacyIs,

“You misrepresented someone’s argument to make it easier to attack.
By exaggerating, misrepresenting, or just completely fabricating someone’s argument, it’s much easier to present your own position as being reasonable, but this kind of dishonesty serves to undermine honest rational debate.”

-YourLogicalFallacyIs

It’s important that we actually engage with dissenting views with an open mind, rather than living in what we’ve already assumed someone believes. We can do this by asking questions and seeking clarity before we speak our opinions.

We also have to make sure that we have correct information on facts, events, and beliefs before we comment on them. As Daniel Darling puts it, “Knowing all the facts before expressing an opinion on a news story is one way Christians obey James 1:19.” And what does James 1:19 say?

“My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger…”

James 1:19 (CSB)

You don’t need a political science degree to discuss Critical Race Theory. You don’t have to go to seminary to discuss Calvinism. But you must do enough research to avoid addressing these things without positing caricatures as real opinions.

• 2. Don’t water down complicated issues.

“Sin is the problem. Jesus is the solution.”

That’s a truth that I rejoice in daily. That sounds great in sermons and on bumper stickers. But when the time comes to apply that sentiment to real, daily life, what does it look like?

One recent issue that cast a light on the polarization of issues in American politics was the Texas abortion law. It seemed like there were only two groups for people to fall into: woman-hating destroyers of reproductive rights or Satan-worshiping baby killers.

Tim Keller does a good job explaining this point. Here’s a quote from a September 2020 Facebook post regarding helping the poor:

The Bible binds my conscience to care for the poor, but it does not tell me the best practical way to do it. Any particular strategy (high taxes and government services vs low taxes and private charity) may be good and wise—and may even be somewhat inferred from other things the Bible teaches– but they are not directly commanded and therefore we cannot insist that all Christians, as a matter of conscience, follow one or the other.

Tim Keller

Sin has made things incredibly tough to navigate in our world. Reducing every issue to a black-and-white, us vs. them, good vs. evil dichotomy stifles progress and unnecessarily excludes people. Which leads to my last point:

• 3. Don’t be the Christian who cried wolf.

Joash Thomas offered this wisdom when responding to an article written about him:

Instead of labeling every believer who has a different view on secondary & tertiary doctrines as ‘liberal’, ‘wolf-adjacent’ & ‘deconstructionist leaders’, what if we came alongside them on the basics where we agree, learn from their pain + hurt and grow from the grace in them?

@JoashPThomas on Twitter

I’ve witnessed Bible-believing, doctrinally sound Christians get labeled as “liberals” or “wolves” for some combination of the following things:

• Calling out President Trump for harsh, cruel words.
• Refuting the conspiracy theory that President Biden stole the 2020 Presidential election.
• Encouraging mask-wearing and vaccines during the Covid-19 pandemic.
• Believing systemic racism exists and that Christians should stand against it.

We need discernment as Christians. There comes a time to boldly call out false teaching as Jesus and Paul did. But when we elevate secondary doctrines to the point that someone must agree with us on all of them or be slammed as “woke”, “liberal”, or a “wolf,” we do harm to the body of Christ and slander fellow believers. We cannot assume that someone’s heart is set against Christ simply because they disagree with us on some political/cultural issue.

I’ll let Paul’s words be a guide as I close this post:

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Colossians 4:6 (CSB)

Love Does Not Envy: The War of Wanting More

“You’ll probably be fine without our product. Sure, the guys in this ad have it, but their lives are just as plain as yours. You keep living life without us, kiddo. Love ya.”

Remember that commercial from this year’s Super Bowl? No? Well, that’s because advertisers know that we love comparing ourselves with others. Even without realizing it, we’ll look at what everyone around us has and wonder how we can possibly keep breathing oxygen without new stuff.

Most times, when we’re envious of someone, we decide that they don’t deserve the good thing that they’ve gotten (and that we deserve better). Right after Eden, we see this play out with Cain and Abel. Both men offer sacrifices to God, but only Abel’s is accepted. God gives Abel this warning:

“And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.’”- Genesis 4:4-7 (ESV)

Sadly, what follows isn’t a lesson in Cain learning humility. Instead, we see Scripture’s first murder unfold, as Cain slays Abel out of jealousy.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, a promotion, a house, etc. But when the longing for new things causes you to become bitter toward anyone who already possesses them, your desire has become a deity. And the god of lustful desire is not easily pleased. Why? Because there will always be someone who has a better job, a more romantic relationship, or a bigger house.

Ultimately, the root of envy is that we look to something other than Christ to give us identity and satisfaction. We think “Jesus is nice, but that other person has Jesus and a six-figure salary. That guy has Jesus and a pretty girlfriend. That guy’s so rich, he’s got a swimming pool in his swimming pool (sorry, had to get one SpongeBob reference in). “

But consider how much it means to have the approval of God through Jesus. The same Creator of the Universe who would have been fully justified in sending you to Hell doesn’t just tolerate you; He doesn’t just forgive you; He doesn’t just ignore your sin. No, He goes above and beyond by giving you the righteousness of Jesus. If you’ve trusted Christ, when God looks at you, He sees His Son’s perfection. If you grasp that, how could you possibly be bitter at anyone for having an earthly possession that you lack?

We’ve all read Philippians 4:13 (Heck, I wear it on a wristband almost daily), but the context behind that famous verse gives us great insight into staving off envy:

“I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”- Philippians 4:10-13 (ESV)

Whether you run a Fortune 500 company or bag groceries; whether you’re single, married or somewhere in between; whether you drive a Cadillac or take the bus; if you’re in Christ, you have everything you need to be content and fulfilled. Don’t let envy stop you from rejoicing with those who rejoice.

Love Is Kind (Even When Others Aren’t)

Wear pants to your job interview. Don’t ask a girl about her weight.  Wikipedia is not a valid academic source.

These statements all seem obvious, right?  I very nearly lumped “Love is kind” into that same category and skipped ahead to envy; I mean, if I love someone, I’m not gonna deliberately be a massive jerkface to them.

So why is this reminder necessary? I believe Jesus provides a clear answer in Luke 6:

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” – Luke 6:32-36 (ESV)

“Whoa there,” you might say. “I can love Christians or my romantic partner, but what’s all this talk about enemies?”

Jesus knows how easy it is to be kind to those you already love, but He doesn’t allow those whose lives He’s changed to stop there. No, when He gives you a new heart, He calls you to show compassion and gentleness to the ones that you deem least deserving.

If this is difficult for you to grasp, guess what? You were God’s enemy, and He loved you. Lest you think this is some exaggeration, consider Paul’s words in Colossians:

“And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.”- Colossians 1:21-23 (ESV)

To be “hostile” towards something doesn’t just mean a mild dislike or annoyance. It means an active, burning hatred. Before God changed your heart, that was your attitude towards Him. Even if you grew up in church, memorized Scripture, and went on mission trips, your refusal to trust in Christ was an act of war against His sacrifice for you.

Kindness doesn’t just extend to those who agree with us on every theological point. Kindness doesn’t just extend to those who share our political views. And, most importantly, kindness doesn’t just extend to fellow Christians. If the world is going to be changed, it will be through those who grasp the grace that God has shown to them and show gentleness and compassion to everyone around them. Scriptural standards on sin must never be compromised, but these standards must be shared graciously and considerately.

I close with Paul’s words in 2 Timothy:

“Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”- 2 Timothy 2:23-26 (ESV)

Love Is Patient: Long Fuses, Long Waits

We are not a patient culture.

We used to wait around for movies to become available at Blockbuster (RIP). Now, if something takes more than ten seconds to stream on Netflix, we’ve got pitchforks, tar, and feathers ready. Couples used to wait days or weeks for a love letter from their darling; now they’re ready to break up if a text message isn’t returned within fifteen minutes. And if the wrong emoji is used? We need to get the National Guard ready.

Those are obviously exaggerations (I hope), but God knew what He was doing when He inspired Paul to list patience at the top of his list of love’s attributes. If patience was a struggle in Corinth, it’s definitely difficult to master in 2015 America.

While I don’t want this series to overemphasize the romantic aspect of love, I won’t pretend it’s not relevant to people; especially around Valentine’s Day. In addition to discussing patience with one another, I’ll close this post by addressing singles who may be sick of waiting around for “God’s timing” or “a knight in shining armor.” Anyone know where I can get a functional suit of armor, by the way?

Remember: God was (and is) patient with you.

One barometer to test your patience is to attempt to teach someone how to perform a task. Once my mom got an iPod for the first time (thus breaking the Hilling family’s anti-Apple covenant), I learned that I was not patient. I’d have to walk her through the same processes multiple times, and have to convert the same Blake Shelton and Jimmy Buffett albums (this blog is a judgment-free zone) to MP3 twice or three times.

If small frustrations like that cause my head to spin, imagine how easy it would be for God to look at us with disdain after He watches us commit the same sin over and over again; the Old Testament is filled with stories of Israel doing just that.

Yet in 2 Peter, we read:

“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”- 2 Peter 3:8-9 (ESV)

We don’t like thinking about this, but God would have been fully justified in saying “Forget it” once Adam sinned in Eden. Instead, He not only forgave Adam and Eve, but He later sent Jesus to die for a people that would continue sinning against Him.

If God can be that slow to wrath, why does it take so little to set us off? Why do we magnify the faults of others instead of walking through trials with them? Once we grasp God’s patience with us, we’re free to love those who seem unable to stop making the same mistake over and over. While rebuke and correction may be necessary, even challenging words should be spoken in an attitude of grace with the understanding that spiritual growth is a long process. Don’t expect full sanctification overnight; it didn’t happen for you, and it won’t happen for those around you.

Single and sick of it: Why should I wait?

Behind the “forever alone” memes and jokes about animals being someone’s valentine, February 14 often brings feelings of loneliness and despair for singles. As everyone else is holding hands and eating spaghetti Lady And The Tramp style (which seems unsanitary, just sayin’), you’re wondering if you’ll ever be in a relationship with anyone other than Netflix.

The Bible is filled with stories of people who compromised. These were great men and women of God that accomplished great things through Him, but their sins still had consequences. Abram and Sarai get tired of waiting on God’s promise, banish a servant, and birth a child that grows up hostile toward everyone (Genesis 15-16). David lusts after a woman, gets her pregnant, and has her husband killed (2 Samuel 11).

There are other examples of compromise leading to consequences, but I’d like to end on an Old Testament story that captures patience better than any I can think of. Jacob meets Rachel, and instantly falls for her. Problem is, he has to work for Laban for seven years before he can marry her. That doesn’t seem long in “Bible time,” where periods of 200 years are discussed in a paragraph, but if Jacob met Rachel at a Sweet Sixteen party, he couldn’t have married her until he graduated college. That’s a long time!

Yet, we read this:

“So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.”- Genesis 29:20 (ESV)

I’m not guaranteeing you a relationship. I’m not saying that serving God means He has to give you a husband/wife, three kids, and a dog.

What I will say, however, is that if you learn to be content in Christ and patiently grow friendships with those around you, God is capable of putting everything else into place. If you wind up remaining single for the rest of your life, He will be enough for you if you trust Him. But don’t compromise. Don’t lower your standards and impulsively take the first chance that looks good. Wait for someone who will follow Christ with you and grow in Him with you.

Once you trust in Jesus, no wait will feel too long.

If I Have Not Love: 1 Corinthians 13 In Today’s World

In ‘Anchorman,’ it meant lamps. In Cleveland, it means Kevin. In tennis, it means nothing.

“Love” conjures many images these days. While most of these images feature candy hearts, couples holding hands, and other romantic imagery, it’s easy to forget that we’re also called to love our neighbors (and I ain’t getting anyone next door to me a teddy bear). Plus, the love we cultivate for God and one another while we’re single will shape the way we love our partner/spouse in the future.

This post marks the beginning of a series examining the Bible’s most famous “love chapter:” 1 Corinthians 13. How does the Biblical standard of love differ from the world’s definition? How can we see the love of Jesus and the Father for us in these areas?

Let’s get started:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.”

Time for everyone’s favorite part of a Christianity blog: a theological debate about speaking in tongues!

Just kidding. That would be a most unloving way to begin a series on love.

Paul brings up tongues here because the members of the church at Corinth had a huge problem with using a spiritual gift to bring attention to themselves instead of glorifying God.  The gift wasn’t the problem; the Corinthians’ desire to use it to further their own name was the problem.

Do you use your gifts to bring honor to Christ and glorify Him, or do you secretly hope that everyone will know how awesome you are? Love isn’t measured by what happens in the spotlights when everyone is watching; it’s measured by what happens in the shadows when God might be the only one who gives you credit. Instead of serving, preaching, encouraging, or using any other gift to promote your own name, point those around you to the one who loved the church enough to die for her: Jesus.

“And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

If you need to be convinced that knowing lots of facts about something or someone doesn’t equate to love, watch Jeopardy. I don’t know how random people know so much about penguins, 18^th Century British history, or various other topics, but they sure do spend great quantities of time researching information that will never impact their lives.

Theology is critical to the life of a Christian. You can’t love or have a relationship with someone you don’t know, so it’s necessary to read the Word and gain knowledge of God and His character. But when we begin to use the Bible as a weapon against anyone who disagrees with us on minor issues or attempt to shame anyone who knows less than us, we’ve completely missed the point. Besides, Scripture is clear that Patrick Star would be just as great a theologian as us if not for God’s grace in giving us wisdom.

Side note: Someone get started on a SpongeBob Study Bible. Now. Please.

 “If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

This verse delivers the clearest statement of all: Without love for God and others, the biggest act of charity in the world doesn’t mean a thing. Every mission trip, every hour volunteered, every sno-cone served at VBS; without a real, vibrant, affection for Jesus Christ, there’s truly no benefit or point.

Jesus summarizes this point best in Matthew 6. I’ll close with His words:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.

Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”- Matthew 6:1-4 (ESV)